This Is England

Rob Davis

England, a place where optimism and pessimism live hand in hand. Where, the same person can see the glass is half full and half empty at the same time.

It is wonderful country where it rains for the majority of the year and then we moan when it is too sunny or too hot. It never snows when you want it too and when it does, everyone goes and panic buys food for fear of being snowed in by an inch thick of mush.

The only country in the world that every four years truly believes “this is our year, football is coming home, we will win the World Cup”. As soon as we are out, “I always knew we were rubbish, bloody timewasters”.

A country where wearing a hooded jumper in a shopping centre is forbidden, and the only way to sort out problems is to go on Jeremy Kyle.

A country where builders think the best way to get a girlfriend is screaming “GET YOUR TITS OUT” and where having a kebab at 2am on a Saturday is normal.

Being posh means you cannot be trusted and being working class means you are a thief.

It is a nation of individuals who follow a crowd, who love the underdog and love to laugh at deluded reality show contestants.

Neighbours to countries who hate us and who we also hate back. We are noted as a nation of tolerance; probably because we are with so many people we cannot stand!

This is England and I love it.